Director: Peter Segal
Starring: Steve Carrell, Dwayne Johnson, Anne Hathaway
Tagline: "Saving The World. And Loving It."
Random Trivia: Get Smart aired on all four major networks - ABC, NBC, CBS, and FOX - during the course of its original run, re-union movie (Get Smart Again), and 1995 continuation with Andy Dick added to the cast.
Disclaimer: I was lightly baked - no pun intended - for this flick. Perhaps, as a result, it impacted my enjoyment of the film, but I highly doubt it.
I should also mention that, by way of re-runs, I was a huge fan of this show as a kid. Phones in shoes. Phone booths that were secret entrances to underground lairs with one security door after another. The deadpan delivery of Don Adams. Maybe I was a really dry kid, but I loved it.
Thus, I went into this interested, yet scared. I fully suspected that this would be another Inspector Gadget, with hints of Austin Powers for good measure. Not in a good way, either. Sadly, I was right.
To keep things simple:
Get Smart is a movie neither smart nor funny. If that's all you need to know, you can pretty much skip the rest of this review. Otherwise, carry on.
Steve Carrell plays the role originated in the TV series (and carried on in the short-lived 1995 resurrection of the same name) by Don Adams, Agent 86, Maxwell Smart. Smart, in the series, was a lovable, bumbling buffoon, the kind you laughed at and cheered for at the same time. Serving for the super-secret spy agency Control, his job was to stave off the aptly named Kaos from achieving world domination, or something like that. At least, as a terrorist group, they had a decent name. Adams was perfect in the role, probably too perfect for Carrell's sake; no matter what he put into the performance, he was not going to top the original. That said, Carrell plays him as... Steve Carrell. I'm no Office fan, but I've seen enough of the show to know that The Office (U.S. Edition) is funny not just because of Carrell, but because it's an ensemble show. It's got a solid supporting cast, talented writers, and gags that work. With Get Smart, the ensemble is there, but the writing, sadly, is not, and most of the gags fall flat.
I liked Carrell enough in Bruce Almighty, but skipped Evan Almighty completely - bad word of mouth and all. I enjoyed his voice work as Horton in Horton Hears a Who quite a bit however. I'm certainly open to him as a leading man, and I suppose Mathew Broderick had already played Inspector Gadget, thus casting him in Get Smart would have been a bit of a retread. Carrell, however, just doesn't work. He's a one-trick pony here; completely flat. Adams was straight but never flat.
The supporting cast, as mentioned, is pretty stellar - Anne Hathaway as Agent 99, who most of us would like to see cast in a 69, plays a much sexier version than the Barbara Feldon original. That's about all I say can about her; I'm still getting over the "loves anal sex" rumor that turned out to be bogus. Ok, ok, in all seriousness, she does a fine job, and I'm still hopeful that she takes it in the ass.
Dwayne "When Will They Stop Calling Me The Rock" Johnson is Agent 23, Control's premier field agent, the big jock of the spy industry. The Rock always had charisma, and a ridiculous finishing move. He also has a pretty good sense of comedic timing, and I'll give him this - his man kiss with Carrell near the climax of the movie should probably have won the MTV movie awards Best Kiss category. Fuck you, Briana Evigan and Robert Hoffman. Alright so I have no idea who those people actually are. But I'll give this one to the Rock simply for having to lock lips with a guy as nerdy and unappealing as Steve Carrell. I suspect that experience alone would be enough for a gay guy to switch teams.
Beyond this trio, the cast actually gets better: Alan Arkin is the chief. James Caan is the President of the United States. Terry Crews (soon to be seen in the most insanely cast movie ever, The Expendables) plays another control agent, Agent 91. Terence Stamp is Kaos mastermind Siegfried (no Roy jokes to be found). Patrick Warburton (The Tick!) shows up. Masa Oki, of Heros fame, is a tech geek - I'll review the spin-off movie of his character, Bruce, later. And Bill Fucking Murray! is an agent stuck in a tree.
You heard me right. Bill Murray is stuck in a tree. This, actually, is the highlight of the film. I literally laughed enough at the concept alone that I missed half his lines the first time around. If someone had shown me a clip of this, either baked or stone cold sober, I would have assumed this was the best movie ever. Seriously. It bears repeating. Bill Murray is stuck in a tree!
This is also the downfall of the movie. The best segment of the entire film is a two minute clip of someone, not the lead, who is actually funny, placed in a situation that is actually funny. It's one of the few gags that works.
My high had already begun to wear off by the time I saw Carrell as Smart exit a plane with no parachute, to later be saved by Agent 99. I kept looking for Doctor Claw to appear, then remembered that this is Get Smart, not Inspector Gadget. I also kept my eyes peeled for Austin Powers, but he didn't show either.
What the fuck? Come back, Bill Murray!
It just keeps going downhill. Get Smart goes for the Big Twist, but there are no real twists in this movie. The "shocking revelation" - betrayal within Control - is pretty obvious from the start. That Smart will save the day is a no-brainer. As is the movie itself. All the good casting went down the tubes with a shabby script cashing in on the sudden popularity of Carrell. Oh, and for trivia buffs, The Rock is not the only wrestler in the movie. There's also Dalip Singh - The Great Khali - a 7'2 380lb giant who, while you can barely understand him, probably got more laughs out of me than anyone other than Bill Murrary and, actually, Masi Oki. Which is why I'm going to give his Bruce and Lloyd: Out of Control spin-off a shot.
So I'll say it again: Get Smart is a movie neither smart nor funny. If you want to laugh at something, rent Zack and Miri Make a Porno, the original Austin Powers, watch old home movies of your family, or hell, dust off the tapes or find a re-run of the original Get Smart series.
Overall rating: Buzzed (1 out of 5)
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