Director: M. Night Shyamalan
Starring: Mark Wahlberg, John Leguizamo, Zooey Deschanel
Tagline: "We've Sensed It. We've Seen The Signs. Now... It's Happening."
Random Trivia: M. Night Shyamalan plays the voice of Joey, who is never seen on-screen. This is the first movie directed by Shyamalan where he doesn't appear on-screen, but continues his trend of having a small role in each of his movies.
It's M. Night Shyamalan - expect a twist, right?
I'm going to do something rash right off the bat. I'm going to ruin the end of this movie for you. If you view this as a calamity and wish to avoid my betrayal of the script, skip this review. Leave now. However, if you wish to avoid the calamity that is this movie, carry on.
You sure?
Here we go:
The plants did it.
Considering how pathetically fucking obvious this is thanks to multiple, lingering, foreboding shots of trees, bushes, and fields, I'm not sure I've really given much away. M. Night Shyamalan is getting really lazy with his "big twist" moments at this point. In fact, there's no real "big twist" ending in this movie at all. There is an obvious set up for future events not seen mind you, but the reveal comes much, much earlier, and we spend half the movie watching Wahlberg and co. run in terror from a summer breeze.
Seriously.
I will say this. There is an awesomely trippy-when-high intro of clouds rolling across the sky. Or maybe that was just me. Ooh, now the sky has turned dark. Scary.
Cut to: Puppy dog. Not so scary.
Where were we? Oh yes. A movie review. M. Night has about 2 and 2/3rds worth when it comes to decent movies - The Sixth Sense, Unbreakable, and two thirds of Signs. Actually my main complaint there was with the final act - once the aliens are revealed, the scary goes away. But I'll get to that in a future review. For now, we have this Mark Wahlberg vehicle of man getting his ass kicked by nature. Not in a gory, the trees are alive, strangled by a vine kind of way, but in a slow build, suspenseful thriller. Or I guess that was the goal here. Whatever it was, it fell short of the mark.
Lets look at why:
- After a strong start - something's up in Central Park, some people have become seemingly frozen still, and a bunch are killing themselves (including a lemming effect off the high-rises - very creepy, excellent scene), Shyamalan reveals a lame-duck plot that really doesn't strike much terror into our hearts: Nature has been pushed to the brink. It decides to fight back.
- We know Wahlberg is going to survive. His portrayal of High School science teacher Elliot Moore is too goody-goody not to. Oh, and the first of many conveniences - someone with a background in science, who happened to be lecturing on the wonders of nature, gets stuck battling it (or fleeing from it, mostly).
- We're not really terrified of an enemy all leafy and green, and the idea of plants releasing airborne biological warfare against us, while interesting, is set up in such a haphazard way that it just becomes silly.
- Obvious foreshadowing, with "why are the bees disappearing?" asked in Wahlberg's classroom early in the film, and the usual global warming/pollution etc. answers come out. Seriously, you don't have to make things this obvious. The audience is not THAT brain-dead.
* My pot-addled brain thinks it just saw Cameron from Ferris Bueller's Day Off. A quick check of IMDB - yup, that's Alan Ruck! When Cameron was in Egypt's land...
- Oh, and while we're on the school topic - no way is Wahlberg that cool with his students, and no class is that well-trained. On top of that, half the kids they cast as extras are too YOUNG to be high school kids (the opposite of the usual 30-year-old teenager I suppose)
So once the "Happening" begins, Wahlberg, his wife, friend Leguizamo, and Leguizamo's daughter hook up and try to outrun it. Which brings me to my next bunch of flaws:
- John Leguizamo - I love the guy, seriously, but I can't stop thinking him of the clown from Spawn, and he really just doesn't pull off a believable daddy here. I mean seriously, your wife is in peril, fine, so you just leave your child in the middle of shit? Fuck the bitch, save your kid! Instead, he runs off to try and save his missing wife. Exit Leguizamo.
- My pet peeve - the convenient expository character. Need your plot explained? Just throw in a guy who happens to know everything about plants! And is weird, that way you can pass it off as
artistic/cool/creepy/zany/good writing!
So at this point in the film, the trees and their cohorts the evil bushes and shrubs are targeting smaller and smaller groups of humans. Trees, plants, whatever. Wahlberg just freaked out over a potted plastic tree. And then we meet another ludicrously convenient character:
The crazy old lady who lives on her own (not in a shoe) and has been immune as a result since the plants have focused on targeting groups.
That's right, the plants are going for mass casualties!
Oh look, she's already nuts! Oh, our group of survivors has brought death upon her! Oh noes!
Look, this is a seriously interesting concept. I don't fault Wahlberg or any of the actors despite my complaint about Leguizamo, but that's more my issue. Shyamalan needs to get back to basics though. Quit trying for funky concepts. Do something flat out scary.
And if you're going to do a "nature attacks" theme - don't have the heroes running from a summer breeze that may or may not be carrying some kind of spore that might kill large groups of humans - but somehow the trees control this breeze, and smaller groups and individuals are relatively safe.
Yes, it's fucking grass. You know, come to think of it - if the events of this movie were to take place, this site would be fucked... just saying...
Overall rating: 1/4 Baked (2 out of 5)
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