Director: Nick Lyon
Starring: Helena Mattsson, Ben Cross, Dominic Keating
Tagline: "Irresistible beauty. Unstoppable instincts."
Random Trivia: The movie went back to the creature designs from the first film. This is the first movie in the series without Natasha Henstridge.
We're in porn-level acting territory here, folks.
Now, have I ever explained what I look for in a movie whilst baked? Either knock-me-on-my-ass entertaining, action-packed, and/or funny... or a massive amount of slutty looking chicks with no tops. Seriously. I'm a guy, I'll own up to that fact. And if it's a horror movie, combine that with gore.
In a normal state of mind, I'm much more picky, but seriously, that's all I ask when high.
And Species IV almost delivered on the titty aspect - almost, and yet manages to fail in almost every other way possible.
First of all - the original Species was horrible, yet managed to make Natasha Henstridge a house-hold name for about five minutes.
This straight-to-DVD sequel is Henstridge-less and puts Helena Mattsson in the "species" creature role as Miranda, a girl who never changes until she's heading off to school. Growing up with her "uncle," she has no idea what she is, til it hits like a bad case of acne at the onset of puberty. As it so happens, it turns out her "uncle" (Ben Cross as Uncle Tom, well Tom Hollander) has been administering shots to keep the creature at bay - shots that are no longer effective.
Upon discovering this, the pair head off to Mexico in search of Hollander's old lab partner, Forbes McGuire, who follows in the footsteps of Anderson Cooper as a man with two last names. He also has a ton of "species" creatures running around his small Mexican hangout; works that didn't quite go according to plan, mostly - as well as a few slutty species chicks including a dominatrix style chick with a split tongue who likes to play naughty nun.
At this point, Miranda's creature side comes out, her and the slutty nun go toe-to-toe, and uncle Hollander - who is more like daddy, having created her - tries to find a cure, only to be told by Forbes that she's really just dying. Of old age, no less.
But wait! There's a cure! We can rebuild her.
Too bad she comes back as an evil skank.
Yeah, I pretty much just gave away the ending, but really, this isn't even worth watching unless desperate. Which, apparently, I was.
Overall Rating: Buzzed (1 out of 5)
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