Lets get right into it -
5. "Where Are My Men?" -
Fighting your way through many bad guys and then finally getting to Bruce Willis' character we have Abby and Wray being total badasses. They approach B.W with guns already drawn and B.W asks - "Where Are My Men?" and is thrown a bag as Abby says "I've got several right here." Asking the obvious question "What fucks this?" B.W asks and sure enough the answer is - "There balls sweetheart." then he holsters his blood covered knife. So hold on a second here, in the very short time they have escaped and made their way to this area, they had enough time after dispatching each guard to chop off thier balls and put them in a plastic bag and even tie it off? - WTF!?!
4. My Junk Is Melting! -
A few moments before #5 up there we had Tarantino show up and decide he is going to get his dick wet, which he obviously means Cherry Darling and Dakota whom he is going to have his way with. So desperate he's going to essentially rape a one legged stripper, that's just sad to begin with. As he takes his pants off and starts to shamble towards Cherry althou this is after Cherry has already broken her wooden leg off in his eye, so it makes it even more creepy. So pretty much instantly after taking his pants off we get a nice OMG WTF reaction shot of Cherry and the other solider in the room and also of Dakota, then we realize why. The mans penis is literally melting off because he hasen't had his dose of gas or something, but the main point is - WTF?!? It's just melting off?!!? like totally - dripping all over the place...
3. Nicolas Cage's Cameo/ more fake trailers -
Planet Terror has come to an end, so it's time to move on to Death Proof. Before that can happen time for more fake trailers! This time we have - Werewolf Women Of The SS, Don't (one of my favs), and Thanksgiving (one of the more disturbing ones). So there are a few WTF moments here, one being Nick Cage being in one of the movie trailers (albeit short) as no one I don't think expected that and it's a insane looking role anyway. Another WTF is Don't which is just a ridiculous trailer to begin with but looks entertaining. AND finally - Thanksgiving - which includes several WTF moments - Including - a man getting his head chopped off and stumbling around for quite some time squirting blood before dying, someone fucking a small turkey which has the head of a human male sewn onto it, a cheerleader who lands pussy first onto a knife, a woman giving a guy a blowjob in his car as a Tgiving day gift I guess (which includes some funny as hell sounds) and while giving said job his head gets lopped off and she swallows the now decapitated guys load (you hear a loud gulp sound- hahaha), Same woman making out with a guy and he gets decapitated while they are making out (again loud hilarious sounds) and she's left holding a head as the body falls away. No more spoiling more, there's so many in the one trailer..... just - WTF? lol
2. Car Accident #1 - Death Proof -
Well I'm actually glad I made it down to two for Death Proof as there is really only 2 WTF moments in Death Proof and the first is actually quite a ways into the movie - at nearly the 2 hour and 10 min mark of the entire feature. We have Stunt Man Mike (played by Kurt Russell) whom has just offered a woman a ride home from the bar. We get to the road and he basically asks her where she's headed, which is the wrong way. Anyway we get to see him pretty much kill her by slamming on the breaks of his car while going WAYYYYY to fast and her pretty face bounces off the dash and now she just ain't to pretty. This isn't the main WTF thou, the main one comes a moment later as Stunt Man Mike chases down a car with 4 beautiful women in it. He races past them on a dark lonely road and gets far enough ahead, spins around 180 and turns his lights off. The women have no clue and are relaxin with the radio blaring and windows down, leg out the window and generally clueless. Mike revs his engine and speeds towards them, flipping his lights on at the last second we are treated to this car crash 4 different times from 4 different angles. Showing us exactly what happens to each of the women in the car. and - WTF!??! ahhaha I loved this scene. Pics below are of crash and one for each of the woman in the red car.
1. The Entire Last Car Chase/Stunt Man Mike Gets Owned -
Now since I didn't do this in normal top ten fashion - #1 being best moment. This gets tops honors as being the last thing in the movie. Not to ruin the entire movie for you guys, we have another group of women this time and they are stunt women actually. As they race around the back roads they attract the attention of Stunt Man Mike whom chases them, and causes some serious damage. Downside is - Stunt Man Mike gets shot, well more grazed really but a bullet. Funny WTF moment would be when Mike gets away to tend to his wounds we find out he is a TOTAL pussy, he's crying about it and whining the entire time. Then the women find him and we end up with a total roughly 15 min car chase that ends spectacularly and actually ends up being the end of the movie. Credits roll and all is nice and happy. - ahhaha
So that's it for tonight my fellow stoners - sorry bout not including more pics for #1 but to be honest, I'd rather suggest you go rent the movie and watch it. I love car chases and this ending one was one of my all time favorites so I didn't want to spoil toooo much.
If you have any requests for a top ten list or even just a review of a movie - please let me know and I will do my best to accomodate.
Good Night!
P.S - I have not decided AT all what my next article will be - so time will tell, but I am trying to post something if not daily then at least every few days.
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